This December, we held our annual Cousins Dinner in memory of Josh. (As you may have read on this blog before, Josh was the true initiator, planner, and general mastermind behind the Cousins Dinner.) For the Cousins Dinner, Josh always saw to it that our five first cousins (who were in the general Philadelphia area) attended. This year, we all made sure that the get together took place. In the past, Josh selected a Philadelphia eatery, but this year, we held the Cousins Dinner at my recently purchased home. With Mandy in Australia (where she is continuing her studies) and Brett ill with a nasty stomach bug, we were left with five hungry participants. Everyone contributed a food/beverage and we ended up with a quality home-cooked meal. I believe that everyone involved will assist in continuing this tradition in memory of Josh.

Amy (the older of Josh's two younger sisters)

Love Harder

"Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them." - Bill Russell

(remember that quote)

It's almost New Year's Eve and 2009 is coming to a close. You've probably been expecting me to do a year end wrap-up post like everyone else is doing on their blog lately. Now normally I would, but if I've learned anything at all from 5 years of blogging (well January 1, 2010 will officially mark my 5 year blogiversary), it's that life is interesting. In good ways, bad ways, and ways we will just never fully understand. As bloggers, we write about our lives in hopes of understanding ourselves and read about the lives of others in an attempt to understand them in relation to us. Still, no matter how much we write or how much we read, we can't comprehend the feeling of a freight train hitting us until it actually does. Life throws you curveballs (or rather cannon balls) and pain throws your heart to the ground. Picking yourself up sometimes requires asking for a helping hand. Today is that day.

If you don't know who she is, allow me to introduce her. Her name is Brandy and she is a 28-year-old Canadian girl with a strong desire to change the world. On December 20, 2009 her blog went silent. All she wrote was..."Life happened. I’m on an indefinite blogging break." Then she left this plea, asking for a prayer.

My name is Brandy. And I have a blog.

And a plea.

I use my blog to showcase the crazy I meet everyday, share the stories of the kids I teach and document my love for tequila, dairy products and the abdominal muscles of Ryan Reynolds. Rarely do I talk about personal issues on my blog- as personal as the dude that I adore (who I actually met through my blog- single ladies, let that be a very good reason to blog, the possibility of meeting someone as wonderful as my man), but I need your help. And it involves my dude.

He’s a guy who made math comics for my class, so they would love learning about addition. He’s the kinda guy who sends my friends gift cards when they are having hard times, who remembers every story I ever told him, who was the first person I celebrated with when I got a teaching job. He’s the guy who sent flowers to me at school- dozens of my favourite pink roses just because he loves me. He’s a guy who has spent a year patiently explaining (and re-explaining) everything there is to know about football during the important games when silence is preferred. He’s made me word puzzles and comics and stayed up late playing Scrabble with me (even though I beat him almost every time). He’s listened to me cry about school and family and jobs. He is everything I never knew I needed and everything I always knew I wanted.

The holidays have hit us hard. He’s recently been told he may have something called multiple myeloma- an incurable cancer, that gives a person an average of five years of continued life. Though this news has came as a shock, he continues to be exactly who has always been- spending his time worrying about me, rather than worrying about himself. He’s the most selfless individual I know- (he stayed late on Christmas Eve to work, so his co-workers could leave early) and a post like this would never be something that he would promote or encourage but when I’m overwhelmed and feeling helpless, the blogging community has always given me tremendous support and comfort, two things I desperately need at this time.

As I write this, the future is uncertain and we aren’t sure what’s happening. He’ll need to see an oncologist soon, to verify what’s going on in his body. My hope is that everyone who reads this think positive thoughts and if you are a person who prays, could you add him to your list? (You can refer to him as ‘brandy’s hot awesome dude’). If you don’t pray, please keep him in your heart.This cancer is only a possibility and I believe that the prayers and positive thoughts of people can make sure it never becomes a reality.

I want to give a big thank you to the blog owner who scraped their original blog plans and graciously put this up. My goal is to get as many people as possible to see and read this post. If you are reading this and want to help, copy and paste my plea into your blog or send a link through twitter, so more people can keep him in their thoughts. I would be so very grateful (even more grateful than I am to my friend who first showed me the picture of Ryan Reynolds on the cover of Entertainment Weekly. If you haven’t seen it, google it. You. Are. Welcome).

I realize this all sounds dramatic, a Lifetime movie in the making- but this is life. Right now. And I’m throwing away any hint of ego and am humbly asking for you to pray or think kind thoughts. If you are able to pass this on, thank you and if you know anything regarding MM- please email me (my email is on my blog). This isn’t a call for sympathy or a plea for pity. It’s just one girl hoping you can think positive thoughts for the person she adores. If my current heartache provides you with anything, let it be with the reminder that life is short, love is unbending and no one knows what could happen next. Maybe it is silly, but I really do believe that positive thoughts can make a huge difference. Thank you for reading this and if you haven’t already? Please tell someone you love them today.

I did.

Situations like this are all too real and hit home for many of us, myself included. That is why I am sharing this with you, in hopes that with me, you too will send much needed prayers and good thoughts their way. Because I can't think of anyone more deserving of a happy new year.

Oh and remember that quote? "Most people have a harder time letting themselves love than finding someone to love them." I also want to congratulate Brandy in not only finding someone to love, but allowing someone to love her back even harder.

Perfectly Lonely

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby carriage. The tone was set back in elementary school. That’s when I received my first kiss. Of course my life hasn’t followed the same script since the day they sang that to me on the playground. Somewhere along the way the soundtrack to my life changed. Actually, it changed many times over the years. Today it plays "Perfectly Lonely" by John Mayer. If you’ve never heard the song or read the lyrics, your immediate reaction to the title is probably..."Oh, that’s so sad!" Don’t be sad for me though. Not only am I currently happy like this, it’s also the way I want it.

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one but me
And that's all I need
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

Not long ago I had a 2 carat diamond ring in my pocket, a crumbled up piece of paper with my proposal speech written on it (to be memorized of course), and a stomach full of butterflies. Like a school boy, she made my heart pound and my palms sweaty. And that wasn’t just because I was about to pop the question. It was because you’ve never seen anyone so in love with another human being before in your entire life! My heart didn't just skip a beat when she entered a room, it completely stopped. I stood frozen in time. Then as she came near, it would regain it's rhythm, pounding harder with every step she took toward me. My shirt did little to conceal the thumbing in my chest. Just like I did little to conceal the anguish I felt the day she stomped my heart into the ground.

That was then and this now. A couple girlfriends and a few broken hearts later and I'm still standing. I’ve had some good romances, some bad romances, and most likely too many one-night stands. Just a few months ago I decided to tear up my heart and shut it down. I had a manwhore relapse, something I thought I had finally put an end to in my mid-20s. But as twisted as it sounds, I find a certain kind of peace, comfort, and perhaps even happiness in that emptiness. Many people probably would never understand, but some of us can in fact be perfectly lonely.

Nothing to do
Nowhere to be
A simple little kind of free
Nothing to do
No one to be
Is it really hard to see
Why I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely
I'm perfectly lonely (Yeah)
'Cause I don't belong to anyone
Nobody belongs to me

So my life didn't turn out how I thought it would. My plan fell apart. I lost the girl and I'm living in a house that is entirely too big for a single guy without a family. So what. Looking back, I think I was entirely too young to be married and start having babies anyways. Honestly, the thought of that terrifies me now! I had just graduated college and I was ready to settle down? That seems insane to me today! While my almost fiancee was traveling the world on a plane, in the process she taught me a valuable lesson about spreading my own wings. At the time I thought she had her head in the clouds, but I soon realized it was actually me with my head in the clouds when my feet were in need of grounding. Neither of us should have been getting married. We needed to experience life, get to know who we are as individuals before we combined our lives with anyone. Although I enjoyed holding her hand, I've also enjoyed taking steps on my own. I don't hate her for (literally) putting oceans between us. Instead I thank her for the love and life lessons she has taught me. Love may make you blind at the time, but when it's over, you'll be seeing more clearly than ever and will be able to put life in proper perspective.

And this is not to say
There never comes a day
I'll take my chances and start again
And when I look behind
On all my younger times
I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong

On Christmas Eve when my family got together, I was bombarded with the "so when are you getting married and having kids" questions. I suppose it was better than the old days of hearing "my, you're getting so tall" statements. Truth be told, I have no idea if marriage or kids are in my future. I'm not even sure I want that anymore. I would like to think I do, because I'm told that would give me a full life. But full to who - to them or me? I really don't know. My life is filled with various shades of gray at the moment. It's lost much of it's vibrant color and luster of yesteryear. It's ok though. I'm perfectly lonley and it's the way, it's the way, it's the way that I want it.

(FREE Download! John Mayer - Perfectly Lonely.mp3)

Twelve Noteworthy Women

For the month of December, we are taking our cue from the Twelve Days of Christmas. The first week, we offered twelve of our favorite blings, then to commemorate our TV appearance, Timeless Girls in Hats, we focused on the twelve hats we wore for the show. Last week, following the tradition of many publications, we looked back on the year, recounting twelve of our favorite (personal) events of 2009. As the year comes to a close, again following in the footsteps of many of the publications we love, this week we’d like to spotlight twelve people we admire.

Because this is a style blog, and because style is mostly the prerogative of women, we won’t be featuring any men, even though many admirable men come quickly to mind. But because we’re idiosyncratic, we’ve also taken the liberty of naming a few women whom we admire for reasons that have little, if anything, to do with style – unless you count the style with which they pursued their passions and lived life on their own terms. Some of the women below were on both our lists; some are our individual special favorites. Jean’s list is first and Valerie’s follows, but other than that the names are in no particular order. Rather than the traditional nine ladies dancing, we feature only one lady dancing, but we have five ladies painting, one lady singing, two ladies working with animals (actually, one lady and one dame), two ladies of style, and two ladies who are harder to categorize.

So many extraordinary women are not on the list. This is not because we don’t love them. If anyone would like to send in additions to the list, we would be more than happy to do a separate post on our readers’ favorites.

(And don't forget: the last airing of Timeless Girls in Hats is Monday, December 28, at 9pm. See our December 9 posting for details.)



Jean says:

I have selected six women who have continued to fascinate me over the years. Some are responsible for making the world a more interesting place and others for making it a better place, and most for making it both. Half are contemporaries continuing to make a difference while the other half are dead, but not forgotten. To leaven the loaf, so to speak, I've interspersed the three tragically deceased women with the living movers and shakers. Join me as I run down my list.

Karole Armitage

The American choreographer/dancer once tagged the "punk ballerina" by Vanity Fair, Karole seamlessly combines classical ballet with modern dance in her work. With training as diverse as the Geneva Opera Ballet and Merce Cunningham, she launched her choreography career in 1978 and continues the dichotomy by requiring her dancers to have backgrounds in both ballet and modern techniques. She represents the next generation of female dancer/choreographers that followed Trisha Brown and Twyla Tharp. She was quoted in Dance Magazine as saying that "People who do only one or the other get left out." Rather than left out, she's front and center.

She has produced works commissioned by Mikhail Barishnikov for the American Ballet Theater and by Rudolf Nureyev for the Paris Opera Ballet and collaborated with fashion designers Jean Paul Gaultier and Christian Lacroix. Longtime partner of artist David Salle, she is as brainy as she is talented: Her recent piece, based on physics, string theory and black holes, named after the science tome "The Elegant Universe", premiered at the 2008 World Science Festival. She has Broadway credits too: Last year, she choreographed the Tony Award-winning musical "Passing Strange", with an all-black cast which ran from February through July 2008. Most recently, she choreographed "Hair", the American Tribal Love Rock Musical which opened in March 2009, won a Tony for best musical revival and for which her choreography received a Tony nomination. On Dec. 17, 2009, the Guggenheim Museum announced that Karole Armitage's "Made in Naples" will be in its lineup of events on Feb. 7 and 8, 2010 for the spring season of the institution's "Works & Process". Her new piece, inspired by the Neapolitan character Pulcinella, will feature sets by Karen Kilimnik inspired by Tiepolo's drawings and costumes by Alba Clemente based on the Commedia dell'Arte tradition.

In the 1980's, Karole used to rehearse in a loft on lower Broadway. At that time, I was on the board of directors of B. Muse Dance Theatre and took classes in the same space in the next time slot (given by Kate Thomas, that company's choreographer). I used any excuse to show up early for a glimpse of Karole at work. I'd often run into her at Stephen Petronio Dance Company's annual NYC gala performances and gush over her latest work. Her longevity and continued creativity are wondrous. Upon her return from 15 years abroad, she re-formed her company "Armitage Gone!" and last March revived her punk classics from the late '70s and early '80s that featured music by Rhys Chatham and David Linton. That her work holds up so well and that she continues to produce thought-provoking work and to thrive, three decades after first hitting the spotlight, gives me hope for the future of modern dance. Hooray, Karole. You're not in Kansas anymore!

Nancy Cunard

Born in 1896, this great granddaughter of Samuel Cunard, founder of the steamship fortune, was an heiress, poet, editor and writer. She is instantly recognizable from her art deco period portraits with armfuls of African bracelets. In addition to publishing her own poetry, she founded The Hours Press in 1928 in Normandy, France and was the first to publish Samuel Beckett. She allegedly became the paramour of many of the famous writers of the 1920s and 1930s such as Ezra Pound, Wyndham Lewis, Aldous Huxley and T.S. Eliot. In Paris, she mixed with Modernists, Surrealists and Dadaists, met Ernest Hemingway and William Carlos Wiliams, and was photographed by Cecil Beaton and Man Ray.

Nancy Cunard fought fascism in Spain, worked for the French Resistance and exposed the horrors of the French concentration camps. However, it was her involvement with civil rights which cost her most dearly. Her relationship with black pianist Henry Crowder and her publication of "Negro" (with input from Langston Hughes, Theodore Dreiser, Zora Neale Hurston and W.E.B. du Bois) in 1934 caused her family to disinherit her. Although she lived another thirty-one years and continued to support human and civil rights, she was in poor physical health and suffered from mental illness. Her eventual deterioration was exacerbated no doubt by her alcoholism and self-destructiveness.

In March of 1965, when she was was found sick and penniless on the streets of Paris and was taken to the hospital where she died, Nancy Cunard weighed just 60 pounds. The positive message in her life was the fact that rather stay in a comfortable cocoon of wealth and privilege, she confronted life head on. For more than four decades, she "mattered". She was quoted as saying "I've always had the feeling that everyone alive can do something that is worthwhile." She got that right.


Norma Kamali

In my mind, this FIT-trained native New Yorker is synonymous with glamour. Some of her most iconic designs are her most famous: Her sleeping bag coat (one of Valerie's personal favorites), first created in 1975, has been periodically reincarnated; high-heeled sneakers; an entire collection in sweatshirt material; parachute nylon jumpsuits; and a series of greco-roman shirred, draped, shoulder-padded evening dresses. The latter are my personal favorite since I wore a white one to my NYC wedding party (at Exit Art Gallery in Soho on April 19, 1986!). Norma's parachute designs are part of the permanent collection at the Metropolitan Museum's Costume Institute. More than just a pretty face, she is a woman of diverse talents: Norma Kamali has won numerous awards for fashion design (Coty and CFDA awards), for writing and directing videos (including a Live AID fundraiser), for her 6 West 56th Street headquarters (AIA's Distinguished Architecture Award) and for commitment to NYC public School Education (Pencil Award). She was inducted into the Fashion Walk of Fame in 2002. In addition to founding her On My Own (OMO) line in the late 1970s, she successfully collaborated with choreographer Twyla Tharp to produce costumes for Twyla Tharp Dance's "In the Upper Room" in 1986 and for her company Tharp! for "Sweet Fields" and "Route 66" in 1996. She designed the memorable Emerald City costumes for the 1978film version of the musical "The Wiz." Our regular readers will recall that Valerie and I had the pleasure of meeting Norma at her store on Fashion's Night Out and that our September 13 posting opens with a shot of me and Norma. Included here is a shot of Valerie and Norma from that evening. Norma makes my top picks because she reinvents herself, continues to be creative and remains incredibly relevant more than three decades after the the start of her career.

Frida Kahlo

This Mexican painter was influenced by her own and European cultures, by Realism and Symbolism, and by the turbulence of her personal life. An iconic and recognizable figure who single-handedly made the uni-brow fashionable, she was born Magdalena Carmen Frida Kahlo y Calderon in 1907 to a Hungarian-Jewish father and Spanish-Mexican Indian mother. She sustained injuries in a bus accident at age 18 so severe that they required more than 30 operations and affected her health for the rest of her life.

During her long recuperation, she began to paint. At 22, she married muralist Diego Rivera and entered into the defining relationship of her life, marked by cycles of infidelity, betrayal, retribution and/or forgiveness. Despite her infirmities, Frida traveled and painted and entertained the likes of poets, revolutionaries and industrialists such as Pablo Neruda, Leon Trotsky and Nelson Rockefeller.

Her symbolic paintings are snapshots of her experiences, many of which are self-portraits, sifted through the prism of her emotions. It is impossible to separate her life from her work. Since her death in 1954 at the age of 47, she has taken on an almost cult-like following. (It is interesting to note the number of Frida "clones" when googling her image.) She was immortalized on film by Salma Hayak and remains an inspiration to artists, painters, bon vivants and -- doll-makers! The wonderful Frida doll (see photo), with uni-brow and watermelon hair ornaments, is just such an example of her continuing influence.

Jane Goodall

Anyone who read or watched National Geographic in the 1970s and 1980s knows Jane Goodall for her groundbreaking research with chimpanzees, our nearest primate relatives. It is fitting that Dame Jane Goodall is an English US Messenger of Peace, since she was instrumental in alerting the world to the plight of chimps and the threats to their survival (poaching, trapping, killing and selling body parts). She is the ultimate "ist" -- biologist, ethologist, anthropologist, primatologist, conservationist and activist. Along with Dian Fossey who lived with mountain gorillas (portrayed by Sigourney Weaver in the movie of Fossey's book, "Gorillas in the Mist"), and Birute Galdikas who studied orangutans, Diane was dubbed one of "Leakey's Angels" for her work in Gombe National Reserve in Tanzania.

Jane Goodall caused a stir in the scientific community by "naming" rather than "numbering" her chimps, which she studied for 45 years, beginning in 1960. No stranger to controversy, she continues to follow her own path. She had been a staunch member of Advocates for Animals, a Scottish organization against the use of animals for medical research, zoos, farming and sports. However, in May 2008, she split with the group over her support of the Edinburgh Zoo's primate enclosure which she though was a "wonderful" facility that provided an alternative to their current situation in which one out of six living in the wild is trapped and killed. In addition to her UN duties, she continues to work with the Jane Goodall Institute. The world is a much richer and more wonderful place with her in it.

Isabella Blow

As iconic as the sleek flappers of an earlier era who were immortalized by Man Ray and Alfred Stieglitz, Isabella was truly unique. An impoverished British aristocrat, she became an accomplished fashion editor and stylist but is perhaps best known as the discoverer and muse of designer Alexander McQueen and milliner Philip Treacy. She was given to extremes, extravagance and hyperbole. Her voice was described as "very loud, cut glass" and her lipstick was blood red, to match her hair. Her headgear ran the gamut of shape, size and color and included lobsters, flying saucers, crocodile teeth, pheasants and feathers. She raised the wearing of cocktail hats to an art form. She was given to memorable utterances such as: "My style icon is anyone who makes a bloody effort!" and "If you don't wear lipstick, I can't talk to you." Nicknamed "Dizzy Izzy" in the British press, she became infamous for her outrageously eccentric hats.

Born Isabella Delves Broughton, she directly attributes her love of fashion and crimson lipstick to her distant, detached mother. Ten years after four year old Isabella witnessed her two-year-old brother's drowning in the family's outdoor pool and her mother's leaving the body on the lawn to go upstairs and apply her lipstick, her mother abandoned her and her sisters and divorced her father. Despite all this, Isabella says her fondest fashion memory was trying on her mother's pink hat.

Isabella hailed from a long line of eccentrics: her grandmother, whom she called "the cannibal", was a female explorer who allegedly tasted human flesh in Papua New Guineau. In the 1940s, her grandfather, the notorious Sir Jock, who ran through most of the family fortune to pay his gambling debts, figured prominently in Kenya's Happy Valley White Mischief case. Although acquitted of murdering Lord Erroll, his much younger wife's lover, he later returned to England, drank poison and committed suicide. The father of Detmar Blow (her second husband whom she married in 1989) also committed suicide by poisoning.

Isabella Blow was an extremely successful magazine editor, credited with launching the modeling careers of Sophie Dahl, Honor Fraser and Stella Tennant. She worked for Anna Wintour and Andre Leon Talley. Unfortunately, her wild side had a dark side too. Prone to depression, she constantly fought against personal unhappiness. As her protegees went on to make millions, lapping her editorial career and her paycheck, she retreated into more frequent dark moods. Diagnosed as bipolar, she underwent therapy. Unable to have children, she unsuccessfully underwent fertility treatments. She and her husband separated. She reportedly was haunted by her own inability to "find a home in a world she had influenced". Although she and Detmar reconciled, she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Like her grandfather and father-in-law, she poisoned herself by drinking weed killer. When she died in May 2007, she had already survived nearly a half dozen suicide attempts. Despite her downward spiral, her fashion legacy lives on. The highlight of her London memorial ceremony was the large number of attendees sporting wild hats as a last tribute to her enduring style.


*********************


Valerie’s List

Diana Vreeland

Vreeland has countless feathers in her cap, but I remember her most for the stunning fashion layouts she did for Vogue in the ‘60s. Page after page of stunning photography. Photographs that made you want to go everywhere, and work for Vogue as the water carrier, just for the privilege of traveling to the exotic places in the photographs. Vreeland was not a standard beauty, but understood her great features and made them all work for her. Everyone over thirty should take a look at her in her modified yoga pose below. There are reasons we get out of shape, but Vreeland proves we are not without options at any age.












Peggy Guggenheim

Peggy Guggenheim loved art, whether she was wearing it, selling it at her galleries or exhibiting it in her Venetian palazzo. She also loved artists, going so far as to marry two (Laurence Vail and Max Ernst), and dally informally with those who were otherwise engaged. The early photo shown here of Peggy in the highest fashion of the day was taken by Man Ray. The later photo shows her at her palazzo (now a prime museum in Venice), wearing the sunglasses she became so well known for. I love the photo of Peggy seated among her art. (I'm only sure I recognize the Magritte.)

Notice the awful Miss Marple-like sturdy shoes she's wearing here. (Sturdy is the kiss of death when applied to women's shoes.) I'm guessing she had foot trouble. It makes me feel just a tad better to think that, with all the money she had, and all the connections, she still couldn't wear a wonderful shoe after a certain point. Guess that's why she got the glasses - to draw attention away from her feet.

Georgia O’Keeffe







A pioneer in many ways, O’Keeffe created stunningly original artwork at a time when few women were recognized in the field. More handsome than beautiful, she dressed very severely, and had her own recognizable style. (She led the NY/Tokyo/Paris black or black and white look by more than fifty years.) Even in advanced age, O’Keeffe had a presence few could match.

Temple Grandin

Temple Grandin, who has a Ph.D. in animal science, and is the author of several books (among them Thinking in Pictures and Other Reports from My Life with Autism, has led an extraordinary life shaped by her autism. Grandin designs humane slaughterhouses, and theorizes that autism allows her greater insight into the way animals think. (Her explanation, based on the similarities between the structure of the autistic human brain and the animal brain, is compelling and persuasive.) When inspecting slaughterhouses with problems, Grandin has been known to get down on hands and knees to help her see what animals see, with the goal of making the passage more comfortable for them. (It is no accident that the photo above shows her eye to eye with cattle, and not towering above them.) Grandin has little interest in fashion, but is known to have a fondness for cowboy shirts.

Romaine Brooks and Tamara de Lempicka

Both painters who chronicled the zeitgeist of their times, Brooks, born in 1874, specialized in strong featured women, often in men’s wear or androgynous clothes. While she painted both before and after WWI, the atmosphere of her work is imbued with the pre-war aesthetic. The painting of the woman with dachshunds is Una, Lady Troubridge; the woman in the hat (above left) is Romaine Brooks.

Tamara de Lempicka (born 1898) is an iconic painter of the ‘20s and ‘30s. Shown here (above right) is Autoportrait: Tamara in the Green Bugatti. Calm and self possessed behind the wheel, the aura she radiates is completely different from that seen in Brooks’ self portrait (or in the portrait of Lady Troubridge), but they all share spirit, independence, power and will.



La Môme Bijou

This photograph taken from Brassai’s masterful The Secret Paris of the Thirties raises countless questions, and answers none. Brassai himself did not know who she was. Clearly she is a woman who has fallen on hard times. Yet she continues to face the world. She makes sure she has her make-up on before she goes out, and decks herself in all her finery. Like any self-respecting woman, she wears a hat. Bedraggled though it is, it is a sign that she continues to make every effort to be presentable. In the end, this particular private war will be lost, but she’s going down fighting.

Bonus Noteworthy Woman: Susan Boyle












She beat the odds, had confidence in herself, got on TV, got a great new 'do, put out a CD and has sold more than a million of them so far. And all in less than a year. Way to go, Susan!

JOSH WINHELD, z”l

Family and Friends of Josh:

On Friday night, Jews around the world will light their menorahs and inaugurate the holiday of Hanukkah. It is the story of a miracle, of a little vial of oil which should have burned briefly and then gone out but instead burned for 8 full days. We call Hanukkah our ‘festival of lights’.

Josh Winheld was a modern miracle. His light of life burned well beyond any of the medical predictions at the beginning of his journey with muscular dystrophy. His light of life burned brighter and warmer than anyone could have imagined. His courage, his strength, his compassion, his intelligence, his decency…..lit the light of hope for countless families of people in wheelchairs ……and all along, like in the story of Hanukkah, his light of hope did not diminish, but grew stronger and stronger everyday.

In the Talmud, the rabbis asked the question: why don’t we begin Hanukkah with all 8candles lit and take one away everyday to symbolize the diminishing supply of oil? Their answer: with respect to sacred matters and matters of hope and faith, we only increase and never decrease.

Josh Winheld labored to increase hope, light, love and courage his entire life. He never diminished hope or strength in anyone. He was a “nes gadol,” (a “great miracle” in our midst) who quietly and persistently worked and lived the best way he could for himself, his family and humanity. What Josh accomplished in his 31 years was nothing short of miraculous and as with the miracle of Hanukkah, we will forever remember, preserve and amplify the light Josh brought into our lives and our world.

Josh was born on March 4, 1978 on a snowy day in Elkins Park Hospital, the first of the three children born to Linda and Michael Winheld. The Winhelds are an exceptionally close family who had an exceptionally big challenge to meet in life and met it with exceptional courage, grace and love.

When Josh’s sister Amy was born, Josh was brought to see her in the hospital nursery and promptly asked if he could bring a different baby home. The reality is, nobody in the Winheld family ever wanted to trade places with anybody else.
When Josh’s sister Stephanie entered elementary school, and looked around at the other kids and their families, it dawned her for the first time that everyone didn’t have a brother in a wheelchair.

The reality is that very few of us have a brother like Josh, not because he was in a chair, but because he knew how to navigate life with grace and with a smile. And, sadly, not everyone in a wheelchair has a family like the Winhelds who can instill the inner confidence all of us need to travel through life whether in a chair or on two feet.

Josh was diagnosed with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy at age 4 and by age 10 needed a wheelchair to get around or as Josh put, “I became the first person in my class to drive.” He went to public school here in Cheltenham, gently challenging the school system to learn to better accommodate the handicapped as he went his way. He also attended religious school here at KI where he became a Bar Mitzvah in April, 1991 and was later confirmed. He went on to graduate from the Isaac Mayer Wise Program at Gratz College. He was determined to do everything kids do, and at the same time become expert in his medical condition, and ultimately an advocate for people in chairs.

Josh could do a lot of things. He watched the cooking channel and then directed his helpers in the kitchen. He made a mean pickle. He convened an annual “cousins dinner”. He not only followed sports from the comfort of his parents’ den but went to the great stadiums of this country and Canada - Chicago, Toronto, New York, Pittsburgh, Baltimore , Atlanta, Boston and beyond. He even went to spring training. When the Phillies won the world series, not only did he go to the parade, he managed to talk a stranger into getting him into a second floor office in City Hall so he could see his heroes on Broad Street.

Josh attended Temple University where he earned a BA in journalism and then started his Masters Program there in Urban Planning. It was at about this time that I personally met Josh. When I accepted the position of senior rabbi here at KI, a number of people came to me and told me about Josh and said that I needed to be ready to provide pastoral support to Josh and his family. Josh’s dad, Michael, was actually the only person at KI I knew at the time. Michael and I played softball together on a travel team at Camp Harlam for several summers almost 40 years ago. Michael was on third and I was on first. It was a good time.

What I wasn’t prepared for was to meet a really “nice guy,” Mr. Josh Winheld, who seemed to know everything there was to know about sports, history, politics and a few other things to boot. I wasn’t prepared to meet a young man in a wheel chair who was always pleasant, polite and ready to greet and speak with me, whenever I happened to see him. Nor was I prepared for a guy in a chair who could do a really quick 270 degree turn and speed back to his keyboard in his room when our discussion was done, so he could get back to his work.

Josh became a personal source of inspiration to me on more than one occasion and I’m sure many of you have your own versions of Josh stories of this nature. When my youngest child was admitted to Children's Hospital into a unit he had been in, Josh made it his business to get in his van and be brought directly to Chana’s floor and offer his services to be her pathfinder there. “I know everybody here,” he told her, “if you have any questions or need anything, ask me!”

On several occasions, Josh not only attended family funerals, including one here at KI, for his grandfather, Bob Rosen, but established himself as a great eulogizer…a young man in a chair with a sense of humor, even at funerals, who delighted in sharing risqué stories with his congregation with perfect timing and a self-effacing laugh.

Because of his condition, Josh thought a great deal about death. His conclusion was to live as fully, as happily, and as productively as possible. Josh and I had numerous discussions and email exchanges about whether he should write a book or finish his masters first. I’m sure he consulted many people. When he made his decision to write his book, he plunged into his work, shielding the contents of his manuscript from just about everyone and produced a magnificent manuscript of 75,000 words with a hands-free computer using only head motions to write his text.

The results: a powerful memoir, Worth the Ride, published by Little Treasure Books. The “book launch”, held in the Rothschild Auditorium at the other end of this building was one of the most powerful events I ever attended. Josh was no ordinary person. His power to help others was manifest in every word he shared that day, and every word he wrote down for posterity in his moving autobiography.

The book was just the beginning. He then initiated an online blog, “Winheld’s World,” lectured at medical schools and talked to conventions of physicians. It was always the same message: respect everybody’s essential humanity, respect them for who they are and respect them for their dreams. Most of all, he wanted to help patients and their families know what to expect about life in a wheelchair. Strangers from London to San Fransisco, responded to him, trusted him, confided in him, cried to him and depended on him; and he was always there for them.

The Hanukkah menorah has eight regular candles and one helper candle. Josh’s helper candle was lit and held by many people. Josh had many doctors, nurses and aides who cared for him, loved him and respected him. It took many hands to help Josh. He held everyone of those hands with his heart.

Above all, Josh’s family were his helpers: Linda, Michael, Amy and Stephanie provided Josh with everything they could, every day, in every way, without hesitation or qualification. The miracle of love, like the miracle of Hanukkah, is self-replenishing. The well of true devotion never runs dry and is never sealed or unwilling to give of its nurturing water.

The Winheld family will insist, if you ask them, that who Josh was and what he accomplished, all was a function of his spirit. But that spirit was not alone in this world.

His family didn’t do what they had to do; they did much more, by empowering Josh with a unique sense of normalcy and mission in life. Anyone who ever visited the Winheld house on Rowland Avenue saw how Linda cared for her son - selflessly, perfectly, every day, often all night. Anyone who ever sat in their den, saw how Michael held his family together and gave the sense of security they needed to be a regular family with an incredible mission. Anyone who ever saw Josh, Amy and Stephanie together, saw a weave of sibling love as natural and warm as the light of a new summer day.

The other night I had the privilege of talking about Josh with his extended family in the Winheld family room. Here’s what they said about their Josh. He was courageous, generous, inspiring, spiritual, caring, accepting, lovable, intelligent, approachable, and independent. Above all, we agreed, he was a “really nice guy.”
Josh Winheld died peacefully this Saturday, December 5, 2009 on a snowy afternoon in Elkins Park Hospital, 31 years after he had been born in the same place on a snowy day. Snow flakes, like little angels, accompanying him into and from this world.

Now, the light of Josh’s life is extinguished; but the light of his spirit shines on and on in every good deed you do, in every kind word you share, in every tear you will ever dry, in every memory of him you hold in your heart.

Zichrono L’vracha……Josh’s memory is a blessing.

Amen.

-- Rabbi Lance Sussman, Ph.D. (Josh's rabbi)

When I told my Mother Josh had passed away, part of her reaction was that “Josh had COURAGE.” When she said that, I paused because – to me – COURAGE – implied action in the face of fear. But that was not Josh. Nothing he did or accomplished was motivated by fear. But to be fair to Mom, I Googled the word and found these definitions:

·Courage: derived from the 14th Century French word for Heart
·Mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty.
·“That quality of mind which enables one to encounter danger and difficulties with firmness, or without fear, or fainting of heart; valor; boldness; resolution.”
This sounds very much like the Josh we all knew and loved.

I would also add the words from the gift made of Scrabble letters he hung proudly on his bedroom wall: Humor, Scholar, Journalist, Kind, Reader, Clever, Historian, and most important of all: Philly Fan.

From his early days to the end of his life, Josh knew he had no control over the physical aspects of his disease, but he understood the power he had to keep the disease from defining the person he would be.

When Josh was 8 or 9, he decided to start reading the World Book Encyclopedia. When Michael told me, I looked up Muscular Dystrophy, which was essentially defined as a “degenerative muscular disease typically resulting in death by adolescence or early teen years.”

I was devastated to think how horrible it must have been for Josh to read something like this. But, as he explained in his book, things “like this” only happened to “sick” people, and he was not sick. He just had trouble walking.

When he went from crutches to a wheelchair, he viewed this not as a progression of his disease, but as a moment of “liberation.” Finally, he could effortlessly move about without the fear of falling, the risk of injury, and physical exhaustion.
Throughout his academic career, he curried no favors and sought no special treatment. He wanted to be where he was because of who he was.

As an adult, Josh wrote in his book about the adjustments he had to make after his surgery for the ventilator and G-tube: “There was no way that a nurse was going to stand outside the bathroom door….After five minutes, she could knock … to ask if I was finished. I didn’t care if I stopped breathing or had a heart attack on the toilet. There was a limit to which I would allow my disease to dictate how I lived.”

Josh’s positive self-image and sense of worth gave him the COURAGE, CONFIDENCE, HUMILITY, AND EMPATHY to bare his deepest feelings so that others who followed behind him would know they were not alone.

Josh was 9 years old when he drew this card for me after I broke my leg in a skiing accident. What struck me most was how someone in a wheelchair was feeling sorry for someone who could get better. This simple card from a child lifted my spirits and helped me through my recovery. This ability to connect with people was one of Josh’s special gifts that only got better through the years.

I leave to the Rabbis the imponderables of Judaism. But suffice it to say, I believe in what I call “Cosmic Coincidences.” Josh died in the hospital where he was born. It was cold and snowy when he was born; it was cold and snowy when he died.

My Bar Mitzvah torah portion dealt with God’s blessing and Abraham getting his new name. The torah portion this week talks about Abraham’s grandson, Jacob, and Jacob’s dream the night before he faces his brother Esau. At the end of the dream, as dawn breaks, Jacob gets his blessing and a new name: Israel.
For almost 32 years, more than twice as long as those of us who loved him had hoped for, Josh wrestled his Angel on Earth and did a hell of a job. I believe he accomplished what God sent him to do and then blessed him and brought him home.

Amy and Steph, your parents put Josh’s name in yours for good reason. Although we lay to rest the vessel, his soul and spirit lives on as his name intertwined with yours takes on new meaning. He will always be with you. He will always be your
Big Brother. He will always tell you the right thing to do, even if you don’t want his advice.

I can imagine Josh wheeling up to the Guard House at the Pearly Gates being asked, “Well Josh, was it worth the ride to get here?” Besides trying to sell another copy of his book, he answers in his own words:

“It is truly the quality of my life, not its duration that makes me most fortunate…

I have had the opportunity to spend more time with my family, including the time to watch my little sister grow up. I am surrounded by caring, dedicated nurses and attendants… I have the respect and admiration of my friends, who have not forgotten me. And, if anything, I believe … my experiences haven given me a greater appreciation for life. My life may not be perfect, but it has definitely been worth the ride.”
How many of us will be as blessed at our life’s end to feel the same?

Josh will be sorely missed. But he will never be forgotten. He leaves us all his legacy of the power of the human spirit and the challenge to do good and accomplish great things.

-- Howard Markman (Josh's "Uncle" Howie)

I remember when Josh was a little boy we used to play Josh’s own special brand of hide and seek. “Uncle Steve, Uncle Steve!..come find me, come find me.”

Yes, Josh, I found you. We all found you. Because like your special game of hide and seek, you made it so easy to find you and to get to know you. With so many obstacles in your way and yet you made it comfortable for all of us. The conversation was rarely about you - - you were always more interested in everyone else.

Josh touched our lives. He was a unique individual – as a boy, as a young man and as an adult. Not because he had muscular dystrophy or because he lived in a wheel chair, but because he made us know that he had his own mission to get on with his life despite the many obstacles. And boy did he get on with his life!
- A normal public school education in Cheltenham instead of special schools;
- An undergraduate college education at Temple;
- A graduate education at Temple with a Master’s thesis.
- Cooking, blogging and writing a book that opened our eyes to the reality of Josh’s day to day life.
- And so much more…

As someone said to me recently: “he lived his life to his full potential and not many people can say that”.


But that’s not what I’ll miss about Josh. I think some of Josh’s favorite moments were when he felt independent - - when you could get him alone. And just talk. Josh could talk about anything. He was spirited and he was interesting. He had a point of view and he was fun.

To Linda and Michael, we all know, Josh had an unbelievable support system and you were at the center of it. You helped make Josh the incredible person he became. Linda, my big sister, you amazed me with your selfless performance day in and day out. You were Super Mom, not just to Josh, but to Amy and Stephie as well. And you were much more than a mother to Josh - - you were his nurse, his friend, his cheerleader and his constant companion and you never made it seem hard because it was a labor of love.

We all learned from Josh. I know I did. He had passion for what he was doing (and not just for the Phillies and Eagles). He had courage. But most of all, he gave us so much. Josh, for me, it was most definitely “Worth the Ride”.

-- Steve Goldstein (Josh's uncle)

Happy Festivus from The Rest Is Still Unwritten!

Since the holidays are upon us, I will not be blogging as often as I usually do (which is at least twice a week). I know, I know. I’m sorry. Everyone needs to unplug though, including me. So for the next 5 days I’ll be M.I.A. from the blogosphere. However, if you are feeling antsy for some compelling thoughts from me, don’t freight! Although I will not be publishing a new post to the blog, I will be sending out new Tweets from my Twitter stream! Try to control your excitement.

You can expect at least one or two updates per day. Compelling, thought provoking, controversial, offensive, hilarious, filthy fun. That pretty much sums it up. Some of them may even be sweet. You know, because I have a heart, or at least this time of year I pretend to have one.

So if you are looking to escape your relatives over the holiday for a few minutes, swing on by my blog and check out what I’m rambling about. And of course you can always follow me directly on your mobile phone via Twitter @davidstehle

Happy Festivus!

(Wikipedia: Festivus)

Josh truly was an unbelievable person. He accomplished more in his 31 years than most people do in a lifetime. I can list the things we all know about, like writing a book, getting his Masters, and organizing an awesome football tournament to raise money for DMD. But I think that Josh’s greatest accomplishment was just being him. He brought joy and love to so many people. He taught us how to see the good in every one, even if you have to look extra hard. He showed us how to fight against something that seemed unbeatable, which is apparent when listening to his favorite song, “The Boxer” by Simon & Garfunkel. Josh wrote in his blog “The lyrics seem to speak to the inner boxer in all of us, still fighting the good fight when everyone else thinks you're down for the count.” And what a fight he put up…he was with us for 31 years! That’s amazing!! That is a true accomplishment!


Josh was always worried about everyone else, despite his own problems. One comment that Josh made to me just last week will always stay with me. We were talking about my upcoming wedding in July and he said “I don’t know Sar, July seems like a long ways away.” He then told me, “I hope you’re not upset with me if I can’t make it.” It amazed me that his first thought would be of my feelings, but that’s just how Josh was. And that’s why we all loved him so much!
There’s no easy way to say goodbye to someone you love so much, but I don’t think we have to. I know that Josh is always going to be with us, he just may have a different view.


There’s a quote in a song that I feel truly puts into words how I feel about Josh and it goes like this: "It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime so let me say before we part: So much of me is made of what I learned from you. You'll be with me like a handprint on my heart. And now whatever way our stories end, I know you have rewritten mine by being my friend."
I know that all of our stories have been rewritten because of Josh. I miss you, love you, and will never forget you…


-- Sarah Redelheim (Josh's long time friend)

As you may or may not know, well over 400 people attended Josh's funeral. So many people were impressed by the words spoken in tribute of Josh that we thought those of you who could not be in attendance might find these eulogies of some consolation. The following are four of the five eulogies.

Choose BrazenCareerist.com's Best Blog Post of 2009

You may or may not have heard of a little blogging network called BrazenCareerist.com I shouldn’t say a "little" blogging network because with thousands of registered members, they aren’t little at all! Brazen Careerist is a career management tool for next-generation professionals. Or in other words, it’s where thousands of cool, hard working Gen-Y Bloggers hangout. Brazen Careerist focuses more on a blogger's professional life and less on their personal life. Although there are the occasional personal posts that slip in, like the ups and downs of dating. Afterall, dating can feel like a second full-time job to some!

Back in the Fall of 2008, I was contacted by Brazen Careerist Co-Founder Ryan Paugh. He asked if I wanted to join a new network called Brazen Careerist. The site had just launched, so naturally I had never heard of it. I remember asking myself..."What is Brazen Careerist? Who is this guy? And why did he pick me?" After a bit of conversation, Ryan convinced me to sign up and give it a shot (the early days of what Brazen Careerist looked like). Over a year later, I’ve watched it explode in growth! During that time I’ve had 16 of my posts featured on Brazen Careerist’s frontpage and enjoyed reading dozens of posts written by other talented bloggers from around the world. I don’t work for Brazen Careerist and I’m not getting paid to plug them. So when I say if you’re a blogger and you’re not part of this network that you’re missing out, it comes from the heart. That warm, squishy, little, left corner inside my chest cavity.

Last year Brazen Careerist did a "Top 100 Posts" list from their launch year. Yours truly stole the #73 spot with the most controversial post I had ever written at the time. According to Ryan it was also one, if not the, most heavily commented posts to ever be featured on Brazen Careerist. It received roughly 50 comments on BrazenCareerist.com and roughly another 50 comments here on diamondkt.blogspot.com

I wrote that post the next morning following Election Day 2008. It was about my views on Prop 8 being passed, a law in California that denied gay couples the right to marry. To me, I just couldn’t comprehend how we can create such a historical moment as electing the first ever black President, and in the very same night, be prehistoric in our views and beliefs when it comes to voting on Proposition 8. In 2008 we were ok with a black man, but not a gay man? The post, 4/5/08 - One Giant Leap Forward And One Giant Leap Backwards

That was 2008 and this is 2009. So this year the folks at Brazen Careerist have switched it up a bit. Their staff is not going to select the 100 greatest posts from 2009. Instead they are asking YOU, the reader, to select the best single post from 2009. Then whoever’s post receives the most votes will be crowed "Brazen Careerist’s Blogger of The Year" and win a $150 Amazon gift card. I was nomination for this post about the inevitable death of the newspaper industry, 6/3/09 - Save Newspapers? Um, No Thanks

I’m not going to be shameless and yell, "VOTE FOR ME!" Although I wouldn’t mind if you do, I’m not going to ask you to do so. Simply because I don’t feel that post was my best work of 2009...and because I’m trying to have some shame this time of year. Instead I'm asking you to just enjoy reading a bunch of interesting, well written posts over the past year. The topics are quite diverse and come from a wide variety of bloggers, each with their own unique writing style and different personal views. They are broken down into 8 different categories - Career Management, Working, Entrepreneurship, Social Media, Marketing/PR, Generation Y, Relationships, and Culture. While you're browsing, if you feel one particular post stands out to you, case a vote for it! Here are the official rules along with the list of bloggers and their posts up for the coveted "Brazen Careerist's Best Blogger of The Year" award...

Brazen Careerist's Best Blog Posts of 2009!

The Year in Review / We'll Have These (12 Other) Moments to Remember*

Happy Winter Solstice! May we suggest that you will ring it in by watching us on cable TV or the internet on Tuesday, December 22 at 8:30pm or Monday, December 28 at 9 PM? Treat yourself! See the Babes in TVland notice in our December 9 posting.

Jean's picks for the Year in Review include:

St. John the Divine:
At the very end of 2008, Valerie and I and our two co-conspirators, Judy and Tziporah, journeyed uptown to St. John the Divine.









All dolled up in our winter finery, we posed in front of the rather intimidating statue in the churchyard. Not only did we visit the Craft Show in the Chancery, but we also attended the holiday festival in the Cathedral itself, to celebrate its reopening after 5 years' renovation following a devastating fire. An in-church tightrope-walking performance by Philippe Petit (star of the Oscar-winning documentary "Man on Wire") was the highlight. Philippe is the French high wire artist who rose to fame when he took an illegal stroll between the twin towers of the then unfinished World Trade Center on August 7, 1974. Here he is (below), just arriving with his bag of tricks.

Among the stout hearted, broad shouldered men pulled from the crowd to hold the rope was none other than David Duchovny (currently starring in Showtime's "Californication" and indelibly etched in memory as "X Files" Agent Fox Mulder). After fifteen minutes of positively spellbinding entertainment, Phillipe hopped down to the marble floor, gathered the rope into a bag, balanced his bowler hat on his nose, placed it on his head, mounted his unicycle and rode straight out the door, blasting a whistle to clear his way through the crowd. Every man, woman and child was positively mesmerized.

In the photo above, Jean's wearing a vintage black felt and velvet cloche hat, and Italian pleated leather men's samurai coat. Valerie wears an Ignatius fake feather hat, black and white felt coat by Tiiti Tolonen, black and white cotton boa by Junichi Arai. Tziporah's wearing a vintage top hat and genuine hand embroidered paisley shawl.

Ladies Who Brunch:
A cross between breakfast and lunch, brunch is the most wonderful of meals! And late Sunday mornings provide both a chance to get together to assess the past week's events and plan future escapades. Here are a few of our memorable brunch-related moments captured for posterity:

Brunch on July 26 was followed by a stroll in the East Village, where we tarried in front of what we were told is photographer Robert Frank's building, a few doors down from the Yippie Cafe. (Fans of Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman, take note!) Channeling her inner Nancy Cunard, Jean is wearing rows of vintage bakelite bangles, her Tibetan hat, black Tahari T-shirt, Brigitte harem pants, Dansko clogs and a Nordic House Designs leopard tote. Valerie is wearing an Issey Miyake blue denim collapsible men's hat, a white linen dress from Sym's underneath a blue pleated transparent apron dress (no label) and a necklace of blue and white porcelain discs on waxed linen cord. She's leaning, English style, on her plastic Frank Lloyd Wright brolly from the Metropolitan Museum.

August 15:

Kirsten and Judy joined us for a late summer brunch. Jean's true confessions: Although in some circles, my knickname is "Princess of Darkness", I could never really pull off the complete Goth look season to season because I just can't acquire the pale and ghostly pallor they so favor. As you can see from the photo, I am a self-confessed tanorexic. Nothing recharges my batteries (physical and psychic) better than a day at the beach. I'm wearing my Tibetan hat, Only Hearts cotton empire dress over a Banana Republic camisole, vintage white plastic link necklace and earrings. Valerie wears an early Chisato Tsumori saffron colored straw hat (which some call a pagoda shape and others an orange juice squeezer shape), saffron Eileen Fisher suit in silk and linen, black tank top, and vintage Issey Miyake leather and elastic belt in brick red.

After an All Saint's Day brunch on November 1 (in a prelude to the Day of the Dead, featuring my favorite - skulls and skeletons!), we paused on the steps of Lafayette House, amazed at the balmy weather (shirtsleeves in November in Manhattan?). Jean is wearing a vintage '40s black felt Minnie Mouse-style hat, black Kyodan jacket, skull scarf, Urban Outfitters harem pants charm necklace and Lounge Fly bag. Valerie is wearing a vintage red and yellow velvet turban, yellow and black wool Norma Kamali knock-off (the label says Norma Winter), and a wool and acrylic plaid scarf from Co-op (a Japanese version of K Mart).

November 22:












After reconnoitering here in the garden of the Cooper Square Hotel, Valerie (looking somewhat surly, as if she hadn't yet had her coffee) and I hit our favorite East Village brunch spot for our blueberry pancake and fresh fruit salad fixes respectively, and to critique the NY Times' Style Section.

We were stopped in our tracks on our afternoon stroll by the ribbon of dots on the wall on East 11th St. (Note to file: Valerie loves polka dots!) Jean's wearing a Stetson bowler, Moschino motorcross jacket, Issey Miyake Pleats Please black with beige floral inset skirt, black Maurizioni Taiuti embossed croc bag and Tokyo Boy flying crowned heart black patent change purse (from ENZ on 2nd Avenue at East 6th Street). Valerie is wearing a green Nafi De Luca shibori'd fulled wool beret, vintage black Elizabeth Arden silk coat, green Mina Poe hand-painted reversible mongolian lamb vest (erroneously marked "vintage" at a resale shop), metal bracelet with verdigris patina, black Ilaria Nastri linen trouser-skirt (from Century 21), and Aerosole shoes.












For holiday brunch on December 3, Judy Berkowitz joined us to celebrate Kirsten's return from Colorado.
Serendipitously, we're all wearing something red. Jean is wearing a vintage Norma Kamali grey sweatshirt swing top, two "Made Her Think" skull rosaries (one black and one clear plexiglass) and a black fleece hat from East Village milliner Maria D. Del Greco, accented with a vintage coral bakelite pin. Valerie is wearing a Tib Design fulled wool jacket from the recent One-of-a-Kind show at the West Side Piers and a carved wooden Yantar pin from the Philadelphia Craft Show. (Yantar also makes wonderful edgy vests out of industrial felt.)

Flea Markets:

One of our favorites is the Upper West Side Flea Market in the school and schoolyard near West 77th Street. It was on a visit this summer that I purchased my grey, black and white Turkish felt hat that was prominently featured in our "Timeless Girls in Hats" TV appearance and in last week's Twelve Hats of Christmas posting. Valerie is wearing a light blue Eric Javits straw hat, cotton and lycra jacket with action art sprays of paint by Alberto Makali, imitation warring states bead on blue paper cord, pale blue dress with draw string hem by Spiritious ("made in Los Angeles"), and light blue wide flat leather shoes with, unfortunately, an unidentifiable label.

Jean is wearing her Titan skull cap and deco bakelite pin, Donna Karan jacket, Tahari shirt, charm necklace, black and white bakelite bangles, Ice Pirates skull watch and Alexander McQeen for Puma black patent high-tops. Positively "Mad Men": Beside Jean, one of the ladies from Off Broadway boutique struts her stuff, wearing a fabulous yellow cocktail print '60s dress with coordinating glasses, shoes, and rose handbag.

We ventured into DUMBO for the new Brooklyn Flea Market held on summer Sundays under the Brooklyn Bridge. Afterward, on our way back to the subway, we had to stop in front of the yellow building with the great pre-Columbian references. Jean's wearing her Tibetan hat, See by Chloe black 3/4 sleeve T-shirt, H&M harem pants, black vintage bakelite cuff, black Angela Caputi crocodile cuff, Kirsten Hawthorne black coral, brass earrings AND the find of the day: a white square-link bakelite necklace (for $5!). Valerie is wearing a vintage green straw hat with feathers and cut-away back, Issey Miyake dress and H&M black poufy underskirt.

Meeting the Mayor:
The honorable Michael Bloomberg dropped into the Stephen Petronio Dance Company's 25th Anniversary Gala last April, held in a prominent art collector's East Village loft. Valerie and I and my husband and our friends interrupted our partying to greet the biggest celebrity in the place. Kirsten and my husband thanked him for all the new Manhattan bike lanes! I took the opportunity to thank him for supporting the arts (most especially dance) and chide him for shaking hands and kissing people, since I'd just seen his H1N1 public service announcements. His response was priceless: "My wife and I took all kinds of precautions when our first child was born, sterilizing everything. Things had relaxed by the time the youngest came along who would eat off the floor with the dog. And do you know what? The dog never got sick!" Ba da bum! Valerie, dumb-struck, forgot all about asking how the city could promote the greenification of city roofs and terraces to combat CO2 emissions, and contented herself with just taking the pictures of hizzoner. Kirsten, Valerie and Jean are on the settee (right, above), checking out the crowd, the art, the food and the atmosphere. Joining us in the group photo (below) are Frank, JR and Jeff. Jean's wearing a vintage Italian straw pancake hat, Rick Owens black T-shirt, DKNY rusched cotton and lycra jacket, Issey Miyake skirt, charm necklace and Kirsten Hawthorne black coral and brass earrings. Valerie is wearing a gray and black Issey Miyake dress, feather hat, black lacquered metal cuffs from Matsuya Ginza, black and gunmetal silk shawl, and plastic red watch from the Museum of Modern Art.



Cocktails (aka The Wee Drinkie):
After many of our outings, we end up having a cup of tea or a latte or a glass of bubbly and a nosh. Grand Central is one of our haunts (in part because the shuttle buses from the Pier antique shows all stop there and in part because of the incredible vibe and the amazingly warm golden glow of the marble and lighting in the great rotunda [note our golden faces in these pics]). Both Metrazur and Cipriani Dolci atop opposite ends of the great hall afford birds' eye views of the main hall where commuters and tourists mix. Here we are last spring at Metrazur solving the problems of the world with the help of a little truth serum, aka Prosecco.

Valerie is wearing a polyester men's XXL size cycling shirt with hilarious cartoon face designs, an industrial felt and velcro bracelet from O-Matic, and vintage red plastic earrings.

Jean is wearing her war horse, go-to wardrobe staples - Titan skull cap with bakelite domino pin, Kyodan black peplum jacket, Issey Miyake Pleats Please skirt, charm necklace, Dankso clogs and Lounge Fly bag.

Birthdays:
You heard it here first! "60 is the new black!" Yes, it's official. I am a sexagenarian now. I rang it in in high style surrounded by girlfriends and lots of food and drink. In deference to the solemnity of the occasion, I wore my Minnie Mouse ears with my white bakelite chain necklace, thrift shop white rosette gum ball bracelet, '60s vintage dice earrings, Angela Caputi crocodile cuff, 14 gold or bakelite rings, Marithe & Francoise Girbaud black "fin" dress, Trippen boots and my heart on my sleeve.

Valerie is wearing a black (in my honor) Issey Miyake spiky turtleneck top and skirt, black felt '40s porkpie hat with leaves, and Jean's mother's earrings. Judy Berkowitz and the sailfish joined in the celebration along with (below, clockwise from left) Tziporah (doing her caravan of dreams look), Jodi Head (showing off her tats and her constant canine companion, RJ Cash), the Dumpling Diva (in plaid splendor) and Ginny (who eschewed her own anniversary and son's birthday celebrations to attend my birthday bash and whose homemade cookies blew us away). Space and local fire laws prohibit us from showing all the revelry.















Among the things Jean and Valerie have in common is that both had a birthday this year. Numerically, Valerie had a fun number, but Jean trumps with the milestone number. Here are just two photos from Valerie's Very Inconvenient Birthday party, in which she looks very much the harried hostess. You just can't get good help these days! Tziporah, shown below with her parasol at the ready, is a wonderful story teller, and had a story prepared for the occasion.













Valerie's Picks:

Tribal Arts Show
On May 19 we had the great good fortune of attending the wondrous 2009 New York International Tribal and Textile Arts Show at the Armory. This is always a rare feast for the eye, exhibiting as it does everything from Wiener Werkstatte curtains to Japanese fingernail weaving to Incan feather ponchos, to Rothko-like ceremonial handspun wool veils from the Atlas Mountains of Morocco, to pleated Miao tribal skirts (stiffened and polished with animal blood and egg whites) to Hawaiian bark cloth. As hat lovers, we particularly enjoyed the Gail Martin Gallery, as Gail was showing a variety of African hats, including one made of pangolin scales.

The show is also great for people watching.







Here we are with a woman doing a very creditable Betty Page. (If you know her name, please contact us so we can credit her appropriately.)

Jean is wearing her deco bakelite pin and cap, Issey Miyake long jacket and skirt, faux ponyskin White Moutain clogs, charm necklace, and armloads of black and white bakelite bangles.

Valerie is wearing a hand painted kimono (1970s?) with Japanese hairpins (1870s?), a small suede backpack to which she attached a giant Hut Up felt leaf from the recent Cooper Hewitt felt show (labeled in the gift shop as a trivet), Rocket Dog flip flops decorated with vintage green buttons, and lustrous green toe nail polish.

Later in the evening, as we sought out the perfect spot for a wee drinkie, Jean posed by one of the iconic, graphic images embedded in asphalt that have been popping up on the steets of Manhattan, which seemed totally in keeping with the spirit of the Tribal Arts show.

A.I.R. Gallery Opening
Every year A.I.R. Gallery, a non-profit art gallery which recently moved from Chelsea to Front Street in Brooklyn, raises funds at its Wish You Were Here exhibition, in which it invites artists to submit art work on a 4x6 inch postcard. The gallery receives a dazzling array of entries in a variety of media, all of which are sold for $40 each, with all proceeds going to the gallery. Yoko Ono, Tom Otterness and other well known artists often contribute. This year tiles, watercolors, photographs, graphite drawings, wire structures, wood constructions, oil on masonite, and feathers were among the media of the donated artworks. Because there are no other criteria (such as an art school background or previous exhibition participation) Valerie contributed a piece of her own – a portrait of Andy Warhol constructed of straight pins. The original idea was to cover the iconic photo with pins, but after hours of highly detailed labor, eyes a-crossing, Valerie rethought the concept, and went for highlights only.

For the June 24 opening, Valerie wore a 1940s red straw hat with red polka dot ribbon from M&J Trimmings, reading glasses in a red polka dot frame, a 1950s red polka dot nylon dress from the DUMBO flea market, and a vintage red leather Coach belt.

Jean wore a black and grey striped Strawberry jacket, Issey Miyake Pleats Please skirt, black cap and deco bakelite domino pin, charm necklace. With us is our friend Rosa. There were countless great buys, and we all wound up buying something. Besides Andy, Jean's favorite was a pen and ink of a dog entitled: "50% Lover, 50% Warrior, 100% Chihuahua."


Spice Market / High Line

Like all good New Yorkers, we had to go see the High Line after it opened, and so had brunch at Spice Market on July 12, in the hot and happening Meatpacking District, where the food is spicy (meaning no berry pancakes for Valerie), and so are the interiors. We had to take a picture of ourselves against the papaya-colored walls downstairs, but you can see we still have lots to learn about photo styling. That's Valerie's digital camera nestled in her lap.

Jean wore a Tibetan woven straw hat from the Rubin Museum of Art, a Hanes T-shirt inherited from her dad and an Imaginary Journey grey cotton tunic, accented by the ubiquitous charm necklace, black Angela Caputi crocodile bracelet and vintage bakelite rings.

Valerie wore a vintage Kokin hat, vintage Issey Miyake jumpsuit, and Jean’s mother’s vintage polka dot earrings. Our friend Judy Berkowitz wore her beloved Ray Bans.

As luck would have it, just steps away was a street fair, where we were entertained by spice-colored stilt walkers and fantastic giant sea creatures crafted out of balloons. (We also stopped to admire one of the local shops, where Jean tried on a fabulou$$ hat.)












When we finally made our way up to the High Line, we were treated to a breathtaking panorama of our marvelous city.

9 (and 1) on 09-09-09, 9:09pm

Valerie has a fascination with numbers, even though she’s lousy at math. Some numbers simply attract one's attention. Phone numbers can be interesting, but they might not change for forty years.

The number of miles between here and the moon might be interesting (what if it were, say, 1,234,567 miles?), but that number is unlikely to change in anyone’s lifetime, so there’s only so much time one can spend contemplating numbers like that.

Dates, on the other hand, change daily, and can present all sorts of amusement for the idle mind. This year, for example, we had 07-08-09. And if you were paying attention, you could have commemorated 4:56am on that date, for a wonderful series of numbers.

The past decade has been replete with great numeric combinations because we’re still in the oughts. Once we pass 2012, the frequency of really cool numbers will fall precipitously (since the year won’t be able to match up to December or 12am or 12pm), so we have to enjoy them now.

With that in mind, Valerie contacted some friends and suggested that everyone meet at Tabla (where they have wonderful cocktails) to celebrate 09-09-09.



As luck would have it, nine women showed up, and one man (what man doesn’t dream of finding himself alone with nine women?).



At 9:09pm, we raised our glasses to a very special day and a very special alignment of numbers. (If you missed it, don’t despair! Next year you can celebrate 10-10-10 at 10:10pm.)

Jean is wearing an aubergine Armani jacket, black Calvin Klein T-shirt, vintage black bakelite necklace, cuff and ring. Valerie is wearing a gray and black Issey Miyake dress.

The 9 (and 1) at the party were:

Judy Berkowitz, scarf designer (judithberkowitz@verizon.net)
Dorothy Black, potter and painter
Katherine Crone, book artist and fiber artist
Theresa Ellerbrock, weaver
John Lamparski, fashion photographer
Becky, dealer in ethnographic art and seashells
Charlotte Thorp, basket maker
Rosa Valentin Content, fine jewelry consultant
Jean, trouble maker
Valerie, ringmaster and trouble maker

Anthropodino

Valerie says: Ernesto Neto's Anthropodino, at the 67th Street Armory from May 14 to June 14, was like nothing I’d ever seen in that space before. I was used to seeing dignified people showing vetted antiques in orderly rows of booths. Anthropodino was wonderful chaos and anarchy, a treat for all the senses. Lots of spaces to explore; the scent of herbs and spices (chamomile, lavender, and cloves among them) everywhere – on the floor, in eye covers, in bags hanging from the rafters (see photo). There were events for little children that I was able to horn in on. It was great to fall into the all-enveloping bean bags, and fabulous to alternately nearly float and nearly drown in a sea of small plastic balls. The photo is very staid – as if I were still among the rows of dignified booths – and doesn’t at all reflect the fun of the experience. I’m wearing a zip up knit cotton/lycra shirt from Strawberry, matte black fingerprint beads from Peter Lane, Huge Apple pants with velcro closures and Land’s End mary jane shoes (which I happily took off for many of the Anthropodino festivities).


* With apologies to The Four Lads.