Men lie the most, women tell the biggest lies. Men, we lie all the time. We lie so much it's damn near a language. To call a man out for lying is like playing basketball with a retarded kid and calling him for double dribble. You gotta let some shit slide. You know what a man's lie is like? A man's lie is like, "I was at Tony's house." That's a man's lie. A women's lie is like, "It's your baby." That's right. Who are the biggest liars? Women are the biggest liars! Look at you, all of you. You're a fucking liar. You! You're a liar! You're all liars. All of you are fucking liars! Masters of the lie, the visual lie. You got on heels, you ain't that tall. You got on makeup, your face don't look like that. You got a weave, your hair ain't that long. You got a Wonderbra on, your titties ain't that big. Everything about you is a lie and you expect me to tell the truth? Fuck you!
The above is an excerpt from comedian Chris Rock, but there is a lot of truth to his Liar skit. Technically, even my own Mother is a lie! Those aren’t her real fingernails and that is not the color of her real hair. In fact, I can’t even tell you what my Mom’s natural hair color is. She’s been dying it since before I was born! However, those are harmless lies. They are what we refer to as white lies. They are mere fibs, just fudging on the truth. We can overlook these lies. We even accept these lies. But as we all know, the vast majority of lies are not and cannot be embraced with such love. Instead these lies fill us with hate.
Nothing pisses off a person more than being fed a lie, especially an emotional deception, the worst lie of all! It’s bad enough that you want to punch them in the face for stringing you along, but you also want to kick yourself while you’re down for falling for their bullshit. How could I allow it to happen? How could I be so dumb? I was naïve and entirely too trusting, two things I’m normally not! I’m a skeptic by nature, but I really liked her so I was kind of in that puppy dog fog. I wanted to fully believe whatever she told me, even boldface lies like "he’s just a friend." We definitely know better, but they convince us otherwise. In your heart you want to believe them. You so desperately want their words to be true that you ignore what your gut is telling you. You turn a deaf ear to it and those around you. You don’t listen to your head and instead you follow your heart - big mistake! That is what I get and apparently what I deserve when I yearn for the storybook ending. The good news - that chapter has long been closed and new chapters have opened in my love life since then.
When we are played for a fool there are only two things we can do - forgive or disassociate ourselves from them. This time around I chose disassociation. Then there’s always revenge. However, for me revenge is not an option. Revenge is childish and counterproductive. Seriously, what good does revenge do? Trying to purposely hurt someone because they hurt you, I just don’t see the point in that. It’s tit for tat and I’m not into that. Seethe through your teeth and stomp your foot all you want, but throwing a temper tantrum and seeking revenge will not get you anywhere. Sure if may help release some of that built-up anger, but granting yourself that evil pleasure is only a short lived high and it is not a dark delight I want to succumb to.
Sometimes when a relationship falls apart or just fails to develop into what I was hoping for, I get a little bitter. I think that’s normal. But it’s what you do with the bitterness that either helps one grow or hinders growth. It’s much easier to overcome a chest ache and a bruised ego than it is to allow yourself to become vulnerable again. Thanks to past experiences, my strong distrust in women has only increased. Some may say that’s only my own fault due to my poor selection in women. Whether that is true or not, it does help explain why I'm sometimes tempted to just use any girl I come in contact with and treat her like shit. Not that I do that, but sometimes I want to. The theory of "I’ll hurt you before you get a chance to hurt me" doesn’t apply here. It's not like that. But I do buy into the theory of protecting myself by becoming as emotionally evasive to girls as humanly possible. I must say, it’s worked well. Whether the world finds that sad or not, it’s a simple way to live. For now, simple is good. Simple works. Simple can’t leave me angry or sad.
Nearly every adult will tell you that lying is wrong, but many people find themselves doing it anyway. In fact, more than 80% of people admit to occasionally telling what they consider harmless half-truths. People lie for all sorts of reasons. They do it to avoid trouble, to save face in front of the boss, to spare someone's feelings and even prolong hurting someone’s feelings. The truth about lying is that you can deny it or prolong the confession all you want, but eventually the lie is going to catch up with you. It always does. Sooner or later you will get caught in a lie. And when you do, if you’re like most people, you have yet another lie prepared to cover the first...and so on and so on. It’s a vicious cycle and I would think a very exhausting game to play.
So why do so many people lie and why do they lie so frequently? Because it lets you manipulate the way you want to be seen by others. Let me say that again. Because it lets you manipulate the way you want to be seen by others. People often lie because they are cowards who can’t deal well with confrontation and figure the easiest way to face a problem is to not face it. They ignore it, hoping it will magically work itself out on its own and disappear into thin air like magic pixie dust - poof! Although in reality what happens is it blows up in their face. Sweeping things under the rug never solved anything. As unpleasant as it is to deal with problems, we all must do it. I rather someone was straight with me, even if their words were painful to digest. Give me that honesty. If nothing else, I could at least walk away with some respect for them.
If you really care about someone, do yourself and them a favor. Tell the truth, no matter how much it hurts. Because believe me, lying hurts far more than any truth ever could. In hindsight, I realize I should be somewhat thankful. I'm thankful I didn't fall in love with her. I don't say that sarcastically. I say that with much sincerity. You recover much quicker when you're only heavily "in like" with someone. And that is the only thing I am grateful for - that I only fell for a lie and not her.
