Unraveling The Mystery Behind The Cupcake Craze

Apparently I’m not the only one who has noticed it, but it seems that I’m the only one curious enough to ask the question..."What is up with women and cupcakes lately?" I mean seriously, have you noticed? Well, how could you NOT notice! It’s everywhere, especially online and especially in the 20-something age range. These women have entire blogs devoted to nothing but cupcakes! Cupcakes they like, cupcakes they dislike. Cupcakes they’ve tasted, cupcakes they have yet to try. They share cupcake recipes, guard secret icings. They make and bake by day. Then at night, they dream up designs ideas and contemplate the ideal time and temp required for the perfect cupcake outcome! They photograph cupcakes, both untouched and half-eaten. They write reviews on bakeries and compose lists of "must have" cupcake kitchen producing tools. Mixers, spatulas, and pans. Sprinkles, food coloring, and buttercream frosting. If you are a woman reading this and you feel yourself becoming more than slightly aroused right now, you have a cupcake fetish. And I want to know why? What’s the obsession with this mini cake? I simply don’t get it.

If the cupcake blogging wasn’t enough, they’ve taken the cupcake obsession even further by opening up home businesses devoted to everything cupcake! By utilizing simple "do it and sell it yourself" online shops like CafePress and Etsy, anything you could possibly think of that looks like a cupcake, acts like a cupcake, or smells like a cupcake has been produced and is ready for purchase. They’ve created cupcake apparel - shirts, hats and even underwear. There are cupcake mugs, candles, notepads, thank you cards, pens, posters and other home décor. Someone has even created their own line of cupcake jewelry! I kid you not. I could go on and on, but I'm starting to feel woozy from all the sickening sweet cupcake talk. I feel as if I've downed a half dozen Red Velvets.

Listen, I’m not trying to knock anyone that loves cupcakes. In fact, I like to see a person who is passionate about something in life, even if it’s a cupcake. And if there were just a handful or so of people that were obsessed with cupcakes, I wouldn’t think much of it. Sure I may still wonder why they are into cupcakes, but I wouldn’t be completely fascinated like I am. I’m fascinated as to why there are hundreds, no make that thousands, of people out there that are coo-coo for cupcakes! Is this some type of pop culture fad that I'm unaware of and will soon pass? Or is it something more, like a cupcake movement? Whatever this cupcake phenomenon is, I'm baffled by it!

I am clueless as to what brought this cupcake craze on or if/when it will ever end. Although if I am to take a guess at it's roots, I would say Oprah is behind this. I really hope my theory is wrong, but I'm afraid the brainwashing Cult of Oprah is responsible for it all. Thanks to Google, I've been informed that back in 2007 Oprah went crazy over cupcakes! She aired a show titled "Oprah's Favorite Things" and on that show she featured her most beloved cupcake - Perfect Endings Cupcakes from Williams-Sonoma. And ever since then, women everywhere have been practically reaching orgasm over a freaking cupcake! Another theory, that somehow the SNL "Lazy Sunday" skit (seen above) that featured Andy Samberg and Chris Parnell had something to do with this. There is also a rumor that the Japanese are into cupcakes big time and it's now influencing American culture? Or perhaps this is simply a way women can give a big F-U to the phrase "You can’t have your cake and eat it too." Because with a cupcake, you can! You can eat every last crumb and still keep your waistline intact. Or maybe women like cupcakes solely because they like pretty things and cupcakes can be pretty to look at, very feminine and sweet.

Of course I’m well aware what chocolate does to women! Why do you think I always encourage my dates to order desert? So perhaps the chocolate used in and on cupcakes is somehow a stronger afrodisiac than your standard Hersey Bar? If that is the case then I understand why women are going crazy over cupcakes. And I’m sorry if I correlate cupcakes to sex, but that is my last theory and I’m running out of possible answers to satisfy the insatiable lusting of the mini cake.

Now to answer the question on the tip of your tongue...yes, I've eaten a cupcake before and they aren't that special. Of course I could go the rest of my life without eating another piece of cake. And basically a cupcake is nothing more than a personal-sized cake. I could take it or leave it, but usually prefer to leave it. I can't say I've eaten the infamous Sprinkles cupcakes in LA, but I have eaten NYC's Magnolia Bakery cupcakes. I'll admit they are tasty, but not tasty enough to obsess over. In other words, I don't love them like a fat kid loves cake.

I have yet to unravel the mystery behind the cupcake craze that's sweeping the nation. So if any of you can enlighten this boy, please do!

Condom Fashion Faux Pas

China's manufacturing industry has been repeatedly tarnished this year by a slew of scandals involving shoddy or dangerous goods made for both domestic and foreign markets. So what I’m about to say shouldn’t come as shock, or maybe it will. In the latest example of potentially harmful Chinese-made products, used condoms are being recycled into hair bands. The rubber hair bands have been found in local markets and beauty salons in southern China. Usually recycling anything is considered a good thing, but not in this case. Basically, what was once worn on Lu’s wang, is now used to pull back your bangs!

Let’s state the obvious, besides this being completely disgusting, it’s also highly dangerous as it threatens to spread sexually-transmittable diseases that condoms were originally meant to prevent. Despite being recycled, the hair bands could still contain bacteria and viruses. Therefore people could be infected with AIDS, genital warts or other diseases if they hold the rubber bands in their mouths while styling their hair. (And I just lost my appetite.)

Surprisingly, consumers don’t seem to care if their health is threatened or if the Chinese government states that recycling condoms is illegal. In fact, sales are up! These cheap and colorful rubber bands and hair ties continue to sell well. A bag of 10 of the recycled bands sells for just 25 fen (3 cents), much cheaper than others on the market, which accounts for their popularity.

This may be the first time we have seen used condoms integrated into the fashion world. However, it wasn’t long ago that designers were creating entire clothing lines out of new condoms...and we will leave that story and photo gallery for a future blog post.

Fire Crotch Fad Catching On Like Wildfire

I don’t know about you, but I value my privates too much to light them on fire. I’ve seen a lot of Jackass stunts before and I’ll admit I’ve even performed some asinine moves myself growing-up, but not even Steve-O would do this! It’s back to school time and with it comes a new fad, or shall I say a new sport? Lighting yourself on fire with cheap cologne – it’s the hottest thing to do (literally and figuratively speaking)! Oh those crazy kids. You gotta love ‘em! Just what will they think of next?

A 14-year-old boy was badly burned at an Ontario high school after another male student doused him with Axe body spray and set him on fire! The boy suffered 1st, 2nd and 3rd degree burns to his torso. This incident has uncovered a disturbing practice that police say is happening across the map, calling it “a fairly common thing” and “a popular pastime among some teens”. So lighting ones genitals ablaze is the everyday norm now? This officially confirms that kids are in fact stupider today than when I was in high school…which wasn’t that long ago, the 90s. What ever happen to doing drugs? It doesn’t seem all that dangerous anymore when you compare rolling a blunt to willingly engulfing your body in flames.

Police say they are aware that kids are taking body sprays, in particular Axe and Tag, and lighting themselves on fire. Some light their pants on fire while others bare their stomachs before squirting the spray and flicking a lighter. They assume the spray ignites for a split second where there is no damage and little pain inflicted, but the trick can (and did) go horribly wrong.

My Mom told me not to play with matches, but she never said anything about lighting my crotch on fire. So it must be ok I guess. It seems that’s the mindset of today’s youth. I honestly didn’t think kids could get any stupider, but this proves me wrong. Remember the fad where they choked themselves out with a belt, hoping to get a “passing out” high feeling? Well they managed to step it up a notch and out dumb themselves with this one.

Apparently these morons are not only lighting their nether region on fire, but they are also videotaping it to spread on YouTube. Smart, huh? That way other jackasses can see how one properly lights his balls on fire and has his buddy stomp him in the groin to put out the flames. Brilliant! Gee, I wonder what hurts more…having the skin blister and bubble across your junk or getting that swift kick in the nuts after the 3rd degree burn sets in?